Monday, January 12, 2009

A Voyeuristic Squirrel with Some Road Kill Soup

Recently, while I was home, I was having a lovely time with a dear friend and it has recently come to my attention that a squirrel was watching us from the workout room in his basement.

While I don't mind being the center of attention, the fact that this pervy squirrel was watching us and did not make himself known makes me feel a bit odd.  It makes me wonder about the nature of animals versus the nature of humans.

At the mall where I work there is this pet store where the dogs lie in shredded newspaper in topless cages.  Everyday, masses of people traffic in and out of this pet store and squeal over the inane cuteness of these defenseless puppies.  I will admit that I am one of them.  I'm a sucker for a cute face, a soft coat, and a friendly disposition.  Most of these puppies fit the bill.

While I do enjoy trumping through the store and pushing past the little brats to get right up to the side of the cage, I feel sad too.  How would we as humans feel if it were reversed and a variety of fat ugly dogs paraded through a store where we were being held against our will in topless cages?

The topless cages are great for people like me who love to pet the puppies, but these poor animals must feel so cheated.  The larger of the puppies (like the male husky who has been there for weeks!) is tall enough to get his paws over the side and see out into the freedom that is the mall, but he is not strong enough to jump over it and wreak havoc in the food court.

I thought about working at a pet store once because I love the sweet animals, but I always feel inclined to steal them and take them home.  Considering I don't have a pet friendly apartment and am also allergic to most animals, this would not be an ideal part time job.  I also have the sneaking suspicion they would notice if a puppy went missing after every shift I worked.

Back to this peeping-tom of a squirrel.  Squirrels- like puppies- are quite cute so I decided to use my favorite web resource- Wikipedia- to see what they have to say about them.  According to wikipedia, they are generally clever animals who like to chew things.  Their nests are called dreys and they ignore fake owls.  Also- in some places in the continental US, squirrel meat is considered a delicacy.  I for one will not be eating squirrel on purpose any time in the near future.  

My dad told me he once found a squirrel on the side of the road (fresh roadkill  if there can be such a thing) and made a soup out of it and fed it to me and my sister.  For awhile I didn't believe him, but have reversed my thinking on the matter upon discovering that he recently whipped out his shotgun to gun down a coyote in our yard and proceeded to mount it on our wall.

Perhaps the squirrel that spied on us was simply seeking revenge because I ate his great uncle in a road kill soup.

1 comment:

Andrew (F.E.U.) Lippman said...

He was most def. watching and probably ran from the house after laughing...if that is possible. But I am glad you ate his relative...he was probably a peep too.